Bus Drama - Curse Words in Full Force

I have sooooooo been a fan of picking up my kids at school in the afternoon, not only because I can but because I love to do it. However.....since I have been working two, yes-two at home jobs, and now trying to lose the gut that I worked so hard to attain the past 9 months (and no it is not a baby in there, Wyatt or Audrey), I recently resorted to putting my kids on the bus in the afternoon.

I did it right before my birthday trip to Italy from my hubby, as my parents were coming to stay for 11 days and carpool pickup can be a little overwhelming. I love, love, love the last 30 minutes of my day as the dogs and I watch out the door waiting for them to arrive, knowing how quiet and CLEAN it is inside my house. Only this past week have I begun to rethink the "Big Cheese" for obvious current events. Here is the weekly synopsis:

Monday: Cassidy races up the hill to the house to tell me that her brother called her an ugly name on the bus. This is where I know he was switched at birth. She whispers "Can I say the ugly word?" Whereas Wyatt would have yelled it for Oklahoma to hear. "Of course", I say, so sweetly (as if to lighten the effects of what I am about to hear). He called me a "Butt licker". Nice. I had to turn my head not to laugh. Visions of my 2nd grade best friend came to mind. Her word was "Butt hole". She made it sound so bad. Julie Norton - your face will forever be burned in my mind.

Wednesday: I hear from The Informer (a.k.a. Cassidy) that Wyatt won't sit in his seat and I am going to get a call from the new bus driver. Rookie - I am thinking. Can't take the heat, shouldn't have taken the job. Go serve Chicken Fried Steak in the Cafeteria.

Thursday: I hear that a bigger kid in the 'hood (that has some well-known parental/homelife issues) tears up Wyatt's snowflake artwork. Now I'm mad. So I wait in the 30 degree weather for 15 minutes to tell the Rookie that we are having some discipline issues with my son and I need him to be moved from the bad influence. Hoping like hell he doesn't say, "Uh,lady... excuse me, Wyatt IS the bad influence". We will see what happens. I was very diplomatic in the whole thing, hoping to be seen as the concerned mom - and no I did not have a drink before I flagged down the bus and I was showing no cleavage. Maybe that would have been a better plan.

Thursday afternoon: I hear from my neighbor that his son, who also rides the bus with mine, and is a best buddy of Wyatt, spelled the Mother of all curse words for his Dad, the "F" word. Great! Here is my thinking for the kid that told the Kindergartner how to spell it. Go ahead and tell him what it is, how to use a condom, how you get STD's, AIDS and Herpes and my birds and bees talk is all done. Who is this kid and how can I get in touch with him? I want to chicken out from this job and I nominate him for the dirty work. If he is gonna walk the walk, he can have the talk.

Wyatt has now been grounded for 2 days this past week, lost all electronic privileges for a day and lost all gum and candy for the weekend. Thank goodness for weekends to start over. He did have a good day at school last Friday and thanks to some Benadryl for his snotty nose, crashed at 8:05 last night.

So goes the drama. I can only wait until middle school. And to think I hadn't entirely ruled out a a third child...