“Sarcasm. Just one of the many free services I offer."
- Unknown Smartass Lady at Ridgmar Mall

Friday, August 19, 2011

Say A Dramatic Goodbye to My Little Orange Friend!

This past Thursday was a happy day in my life. Although I would never wish illness or sickness on anyone (except for pedophiles and those who can eat whatever they want and stay a size 0, which I don't think is a real size but that is another story), I was on the good receiving end of someone else's misfortune. My neighbor who is not in the best of health decided to sell his riding lawnmower. It seems I must have bitched enough to alert my neighbors to my distaste of my current mower to the point that they were texting me on vacation in Colorado when they heard there was a mower for sale in my 'hood. Sweet Jesus - my prayers have been answered!

I tried not to make too much of an ordeal about it so as not to burst my bubble if it didn't pan out but boy was I excited. Strange how your life takes twists and turns. NEVER in my juvenile years would I have expected to be overjoyed by something as mundane as a new lawnmower. Kind of ranks up there with getting your teeth cleaned; miserable while it is getting done but so nice when finished! So after we get home and I begin the 11+ loads of laundry we accumulated on vacation, my hubby heads over to visit with some neighbors and decides to take a look at the mower. It seems it is the same mower as ours (albeit newer, cleaner, fewer hours, recharging system that works - whoa, say what???!). After an hour, my hubby returns to say he thinks the mower is a good deal, mainly because we can harvest parts between the two if the new one breaks down. Say what?! IF THE OLD ONE BREAKS DOWN? This - coming from the man who thinks it is my fault the mower blew a rod 2 summers ago while I was driving it AND after he replaced the engine with one he bought off of eBay, STILL does not recharge itself. So now we are buying a mower to use as a harvesting machine? Really?? Give me a flipping' break. Whatever.

The best part to this story is that for all the crap he gives me about mowing the yard, I think he secretly enjoys that I take ownership of the yard. Bushes, truckloads of mulch, weeding, mowing, weed eating, etc... So here we are, 4 days after we take ownership of the new mower and I was delayed in my original plan of mowing on a Wednesday morning before the temperature warmed up equal to the surface of the sun. This was caused by a loose wire that caused it not to start. Because of plans that evening, he volunteered to mow the front yard for me. Low and behold, the two neighbors (both being men who take uber-pride in their manscapes) were out front mowing. One actually drove over to the other one's yard and pretended to be taking a picture! I am not kidding! What a great day. I am not sure how to calculate it but I am guessing score at least one point for Mom. I got a new mower and some stranger mowed my yard for me.

To top it all off, he hauled it off to our land in West Texas, hopefully to meet its demise. Good riddens my friend, I hope you meet your maker and have to apologize for making my life miserable 3 hours a week for the past 2 years.

P.S. Hope to see you again soon Mower Man!

Queen Bee

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